Quite long din update my blog..

Too much things happened btw these days..

really unexpected,

until i don't even know where should i start to write..

And yet, I remembered everything and every moment i was with him, savoring is every move, smile. So do he? I wonder..

Drawing those silly pics on webcam and skype,sometimes did helped me to release stress,. Backup me while i am in a condition of stress..he had tried to pull me up to reality. Even he will pick up me to have supper in the middle of night since he knew that i will be hungry all the time.

I really appreciate and treasure a lot while with him. Thats creativity and silliness was what he did. Thats how he won my heart..

I miss the time he came and consult my finger after i bang it, the time we spent together with my best friend, the present he gave me n how we spent our valentines, he did woke up in the early morning just to accompanied me for dim sum and a walk in the garden, even he had promise me for so long to bring me up to genting.

Finally he did, even though just to fetch his brother gf , but i felt so happy abt it..

This story happened too fast and had end in a sudden... I really could'nt take it or believe it..

I believe he was busy with his assignments, event, project and didn't even have time for himself.

no worries.. i just believe on him..Until i am so damn stupid to drive all the way to his house just to get his explanation..It was first time i felt so scared driving in a heavy rain and i really had forgotten the way to his house..i tried my best to ask someone the way to his house under the heavy rain..the rain was really heavy until i wondering there what should i do..

But finally i got an unexpected answer on the next morning. I had a big shock, I really couldn't believe it was him in those pics..I SCREAM!!!!! My classmate all using all sort of expression starring at me, even my lecturer did so.. I felt so ashamed abt it but i just can't control myself.

I don't know what to do, my assesment is on the next morning, and i havent finish my assignment, he didn't reply me, my friend panic and don;t know how to comfort me.

but anyway, thanks kenneth, he taught me not to cry.

i don;t cry in the end, I have no tears left for him and finally i finished my assesment..

My friends did told me his gf purposely post out their photo , but i just take it as normal because i not really know his gf as well.

But it's suprising how i saw and realized so many things in one night..

How SHE wanted to revenge..

How conflits and fights are caused,

how stupid and childish was she..

And finally how it was settled

How much care and protection HE offered..

Before, he've been one of the most concerned and caring person to me.

He like a shield, defending me.

How much worry, covetousness he can be.

But finally, he seem like knew nothing but trying to blammed on me.

Blammed me for involving others in it.

I am trying to figure out the right route.

But seems like i am not on the right track.

thats all for me.

I am getting myself out of it.

I finally gave up.

Probably another good start for me.

Instead, I'm so stress out by certain things.

Being blammed for nothing you have done wrong makes you feel worst.

And i do hope his gf should know i am the victim and not supposed to tease on me.

I really look down on her.

For doing such silly things.

And they guys didn't even say a word ''sorry'' for me.

I really pissed off because of this..

But i felt proud of him because finally he did..

I.m too naive to believe you guys took me as friends even at the first place.

Knew that he dislike me and amazingly creating such wonderful story.

I m just pissed at you..

Thank you for giving me such mass of shits to look after.

Okay

To be fair. I am here to say sorry to you too..

I;ve did something which i felt so sorry to you.

But i will kept it secretly since you have your own secret too..

I just betray you after you had betrayed me.

And i am so sorry to you..

Anyway, It's just a dream for both of us..

i will try to keep in my heart as our memories.